Recently I was faced with a choice.
My wonderful husband retires in under two years, and we had talked about moving to Australia’s Sunshine Coast… which is absolute paradise. I could gladly spend the rest of my days living in this amazing part of the world, photographing the beauty, and sharing it with the world. Once upon a time, that was the dream. It was all I ever wanted. And it would be a wonderful life.
But after my visit to Unity Village in the US, everything changed for me. Dreams and goals and ambitions which had been long buried were brought screaming to the surface for re-examination. There is definitely a part of me that loves to be able to brag about being completely self-taught in all I do. I was a High School dropout who prided myself on achieving without the aid of formal education. But now that I have embarked on a course of study that will one day lead to my ordination as a Unity Minister, there is another part of me who is taking incredible pride in being able to call myself an official “student”.
So back to my choice….
When I eventually leave my home here in Kingaroy, instead of going to the Sunshine Coast to live out my days in creative bliss… I will be moving to the US to complete my studies and begin the career I believe that I was always meant to have. It is by far the more challenging path. And it is true that either one of these paths would make me very happy. But somehow now… the idea of moving to the Coast feels like “settling”. In a way, it feels like giving up. Sure, it would still have it’s challenges. But they would pale in comparison to the challenges that await me on my new path. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I could live the life of a photographer on the coast. It would be simple and it would be easy, and it would be comfortable. And there is not a day that goes by that I don’t have moments of sheer panic at my new choice. I second guess the decision daily. It scares the living crap out of me. And that is a wonderful thing!!
If you are going to dream… dream big!!
Shoot for the moon!!
I have decades of regret for the choices I never made when I was younger. I took the easy option time and time again, because I was not brave, and I was not confident and I was filled to the brim with fear of failure.
Yes, I could be happy living out my life in paradise. Who wouldn’t be? But there would always be this nagging part of me that wondered… what if? Could I have been more? Done more? I might fail. I might be a fantastic failure at my new chosen career. But one thing I will never ever ever again do… and that is die wondering. And it’s true what they say… if your dream doesn’t scare the hell out of you, you are not dreaming big enough!!!