Hope….

By

Bird of Paradise

There have been times in my life…. as I am sure there have been in yours…. when it seemed that Hope was all I had.

There were even one of two moments of weakness, when even Hope left my side…. albeit temporarily.  I am not sure exactly what has kept me going all these years.  My family – for sure.  My faith – absolutely.  But mostly it was the hope that one day things would be different for me.  I have even said to one or two people, that if I truly believed that things would never change, I seriously didn’t want to continue on.  It’s been no way to live.  There have been times when the burden has been just too much.  Not even so much for me…. but for having the knowledge, that this is how my children grew up thinking that life was supposed to be.  That thought alone, just kills me.

But then there’s Hope.

News from my doctor the other week might have put paid to a 35 year old mystery, that seemed like it could never be solved.

Can you image living almost your entire life in a (metaphorical) wheelchair and suddenly being told that you could walk!

That is how I feel right now.

I’m not completely out of the chair yet.  It’s far too soon to make that kind of assessment.  But for the first time in a VERY long time, I can actually entertain the possibility.  It could actually happen.

could live a “normal” life.  I could be like everyone else, and not have to feel like some kind of leper outcast.  I might even be able to entertain the possibility of making a contribution with this lifetime, instead of it being just something that I need to endure.  Imagine that.

I have imagined it over and over and over again, never quite brave enough to actually believe in the possibility for fear of bitter disappointment.

But this time could be different.

This time…. it could actually be real.